Green, Like the Forest
by Luxtes
Summary: There was always so many things that went unseen, so many things that weren't explained. Magic, we never knew it was alive like this, and it was wonderful. Join Jennifer Potter as she discovers the truth of the world, and how magic truly works, while trying not to lose her mind along the way. Fem!Harry, no bashing, Alive!Lily, pairing undecided but probably femslash. AU
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I of course, own nothing but my own ideas. All rights to their proper owners, and this is not made for profit.

* * *

If there was one thing I'd always love about the world, it was how unexpected things happened every day, with so many different outcomes, whether good or bad, it added a sense of excitement to each minute of the day, for to those with a keen eye, the happenings in their surroundings held the answers to boredom, and promises of endless entertainment.

I was one of those, with a keen eye. And there were always little things, that no one else would notice, but I did. Like how every time I passed through a spot 1 meter away from the pavement, something washed over me, in a slightly tingly sense, which left me shuddering for a second or two every time. This happened all around the lawn, in a relatively hap-hazard way around the house. In my day dreams, this strange happening was related to a barrier. _To keep bad spirits away_ , I thought, and this reassured me every night for I knew it was there and though I didn't know what it was, my mind associated it with protection.

Then there were those moments, observing people. At school, kids were easy to understand, with not much complexity to their thoughts, and I knew I was different, unlike them, I knew things, I read things, and I noticed things. I noticed how some of them were distinctly sadder than others; I noticed those who were always uncomfortable, those who just followed the flow of those around them.

"Potter!" came the irritated voice of my teacher, 5th grade class of a regular school smack in the middle of London, I pulled my gaze off the window towards the courtyard and the street before it, and towards the teacher in front of me, scant meters away. "Glad you could re-join us, please move up to the chalkboard and show us how to solve this equation."

"Yes, sir," came my light, relatively meek toned reply, as I stood up and headed to the front of the class, raven coloured ponytail swishing with every step, tied low and reaching past my mid-back, just as I liked it, to quickly resolve the problem posed in the chalkboard. As I had done this before extensively, just last night as a matter of fact, my mind couldn't help but wonder once more as my hands went through the motions and slight thought of numbers.

" _I'll be having holidays soon… thankfully. I don't think I could listen to Mister Brown's annoying voice for another full term",_ and this of course brought the thoughts of my upcoming eleventh birthday, and it was hard not to be excited as thoughts of what my mother could possibly come up with invaded the forefront of my mind.

 _Will she take me to France as she promised, or maybe to Switzerland? I want to see the continent, as much as I love Britain maybe I would enjoy warmer weather for a bit…_

A smile crept unto my face as with a final, slightly exaggerated flourish, I wrote the final number onto the chalkboard finishing the task at hand, and walked back to my desk relatively more cheery than I was before, with even more thoughts making a mess of my mind.

* * *

The sun shined into the hotel room through a spacious window, wide-open and curtains drawn back, the warmth of the climate pleasantly washed over me, soothing and relaxing as fresh mountain air came into my lungs.

A few hours ago my mother and I had landed in Switzerland, as an early birthday gift for she insisted that on my birthday we must be at home, at first I thought it strange, but once we were at Heathrow there was no more room for doubts, the excitement overwriting anything that could come to mind.

Now, as I looked in the mirror, my reflection stared back, unassuming, unbothered and tranquil as I felt. Black coloured hair, dropping in waves around my not-very-tall form down to my mid-back, " _Of course I'm short, I am ten,"_ I told myself, looking into my own eyes, green meeting green, and for a second I thought I saw them shine, while feeling something… different, in myself, although I couldn't tell just what was different, but I felt… more… Me. It's strange to explain, but I feel as I had only just noticed something that had always been there. Like I was blind and suddenly could see, but I didn't know just _what_ I could see now.

"Jen! Jennifer!" voiced my mother; her auburn locks the first thing I noticed as she came through the door, to once more face me, "I thought you were excited to go to the park? Well, come on then! Finish tidying up!"

"Okay, I'm coming mum! I'll be quick," I mumbled, still relatively lost in thought as I finished putting my sneakers on, and once more looked at myself in the mirror, dark jeans and a light blue, slightly oversized shirt with an opened sweatshirt thrown on top, its dark grey colour matching comfortably with the rest of my attire. Satisfied, as only a child could be, I half-ran to my mother's retreating form and took her hand, beginning our trek towards the park and of course, the forest in it.

* * *

"Not so fast, Jen, you could get lost!" she said, with her voice slightly rose as to make sure I heard her.

"Yes, mum, don't worry!" I stated as I looked back to her, my small form walking briskly amongst the gathered trees of the outskirts of the forest near the park we stood at. Mum had warned me not to go too deep in, as we didn't know where I could end up, but I was so excited that I forgot all about it pretty fast, and before I could realise it I could no longer tell where I was.

 _"_ _There's no way I could have got lost already, is there? Well, I shouldn't worry, mum will find me soon enough if I stay still and make some noise…"_

But before I could do this, I noticed something, a slight shift in the forest, and I felt an instinct beckoning me to go forward. Of course, this scared me, as I didn't know what I was feeling and why, however, I decided it couldn't be bad and so, I slowly began walking towards what looked like a clear path to a clearing, and I felt it was somehow _right_ to go that way, and thus followed it. Soon enough, I found myself in the very centre of a clearing, trees surrounding me in a nearly perfect but imperfect circle that nature was only capable of, and as I looked around, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye, and then I turned around…

As I faced it, I had no idea what it was. Carved into the trunk of a massive tree, there was a seat-like space, but that wasn't the strange part of the sight before me, no, that belonged to the… man? That occupied the seating. He looked old, very old, perhaps much older than my own grandfather, who looked very wrinkled and tired the one time I saw him. Still, the strange part of this man, for lack of a better word, was that out of his head protruded a pair of _stag horns_ ; massive stag horns that belonged in a deer and not a human.

It couldn't be possible, as I knew for a fact, as only a child could know a fact that since my dad did not have stag horns in any of the pictures we had of him, thus this man just could not have stag horns.

But as impossible as it was, those horns did not go away after I blinked, so I tried again, and again, and every time the horns stayed there in their place, with his gaze, before unnoticed, planted right on me.

Then, he spoke, the words strange and unknown to me, but it sounded _old,_ something that perhaps even my grandparents had no idea of, it was not German, nor French, but it also was not English, although some things sounded similar.

Seeing my confusion, the gaze on the man, _creature?_ Softened, and he waved his hand, and then spoke again.

Suddenly, I could understand, and my shock almost made me miss the words as he uttered them; _"Child, you have come as it was fated and so my time ends… Come forward, and accept the gift, for this is what you were born for, in this nemeton may you find wisdom to face the events that will come to you, as you cannot avoid it, but you can change the end of your days. Be strong, child of Potter, for much is to come."_

Almost against my will, my legs began a slow pace towards him, as his eyes glowed eerily green, and the forest seemed to come to life around us as birds chirped in what seemed like a happy tone, and I could see when I looked the shapes of critters running around the circle of trees, popping in and out of sight, and then I was in front of him, and I could feel _something_ washing over me, just as it washed over me at my house, and in front of the mirror scant hours ago, I felt that everything in the world was just _right,_ never mind that my mother was surely having kittens by now at not being able to see me… then the thoughts vanished of my mind, as suddenly I could hear things in my brain that went far too fast for me to understand let alone remember, but there was one word that stuck out amongst all of them; Magic. _Magic._

I wondered what this meant, I asked myself, and suddenly, I knew. I knew it was magic, and I knew that it was real. I knew that I had it, and this confused me utterly. How could I understand this and not understand it at all? What was magic? How did I have it?

The man, _Ulfric,_ as it came to the forefront, seemed to have noticed my confusion, and thus spoke; _"You grew unaware, child, but this is what you are. You are one of my kind, one of those of the old ways, of the old gods. You are a witch, but furthermost you are one of the chosen of Cernunnos. Rejoice, for you are whole once more, and trust that you will always find wisdom in the forest, awakened as you are. Ask the winds, ask the trees, and you will find your answers. Farewell, child, for we will not meet again, but know that I am proud to have initiated you, as will you, hundreds of years from now, with your successor",_ then he began chanting, and I could understand what he said, though it was so fast that it jumbled together in my senses, it seemed like a prayer, something uttered in reverence as my mother said it must be, and his hand began shining as something gathered around it, I wondered to myself what it was, doubt permeating my being as confusion was overwhelming me, and suddenly I knew what it was, it was a _spell._ Before I could question what it was for, it was out and heading towards me, faster than I could think something could move towards me, and hit me in the chest.

Panic overtook me for a second, but then everything was calm, and I noticed that it was soothing, this was not meant to harm but to help, I knew, and I felt better than I had on my whole life. I felt my _magic_ swirling around my body, and through it, and everything was perfect in this moment. I closed my eyes, and revelled in the feeling for a scant few seconds, but when I opened my eyes the clearing was empty once more.

 _"_ _Trust your instincts, child, for they will never lead you wrong. Farewell…"_

I blinked once more, and I was not in the clearing, but in the border of the forest, scant few metres away from my worried looking mother, "Mum!" I bellowed, with slight relief coating my words, and walked towards her, "I'm over here."

"Jen!" she whirled around, and stared me down in the way only mothers can, analysing every feature of their child, instantly knowing if something is different or wrong, or if they were hurt, as only they knew their features so well.

Seeing nothing amiss, she just hugged me then took my hand to lead me back into the relative safety of the park, with plenty of visibility, as she scolded me for running off where she couldn't see me as I had promised not to.

* * *

The sun rose over the horizon as morning dragged on, it was a normal day, and everything was going as it was supposed to. People went to work, kids played in the yards or with their toys in their rooms, birds chirped as it was a good day out, summer bringing with it warm weather for the British climate, and the sun shone with its usual brilliance high above everyone.

However, for one little girl, this was not so, for this was a special day. Today, she turned eleven, and like every birthday, today she would have lots of cake just for herself, and be showered in gifts by her mother and those relatives she knew, and those she didn't know. Post arrived early in the morning, as was the usual in West Hamilton, London, and with it came the gifts she so dearly anticipated. However, as she was having breakfast, something strange and out of the ordinary occurred, that she could not have expected. First, she sensed _something_ , that was familiar but unfamiliar at the same time, it was similar to what she had felt from that man in the forest, Ulfric, but also different, however before her musings could figure out what it was, there was a tap, like a bird pecking against the window of the kitchen, and as she looked to investigate, it was exactly that; a bird, an owl of some kind, slamming its peak against the window. Her mother, not confused or estranged at all by this event, calmly rose from her seat with bacon in hand, opened the window and gave the owl, which seemed to be carrying something, the pieces of bacon she took with her as she retrieved the parcel. The owl hooted, and as sudden as it came it flew off, leaving the parcel safely within the hands of my mother.

"Oh, little Jen, it's that day already…" She said, with a strange smile upon her face, her expression seemed like… resignation? As if she didn't want this to happen, but knew it had to at some point. Like every time strange things happened around me, she just smiled and patted my head, telling me that everything would be alright. Each time, it soothed me, and the strange things stopped, however this time it would not be, for nothing had happened, so why had she this expression she only had then?

She unfolded the parcel, which was thick, but similar to paper, and it seemed there was writing in it. Before I could stretch out to try and read what was in it, she handed it to me, and it read;

 ** _"_** ** _HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY"…_**

"Mum?" I questioned, "What is this?"

I continued reading as I waited for her answer, and I looked up every word to see her expression changing slowly, as she teared up, but also seemed happy. Why is this bothering mum? I needed to stop it, she could not cry, she was my mum and she was always happy. I didn't like this, at all, so I put it down.

"Mum, are you okay?" I got up, and walked to her, I wrapped my arms around her, as much as I could with my tiny form, in a comforting hug, and she patted my head as she always did when I was upset, saying everything was fine and that I should finish reading it.

 ** _"_** ** _Dear Ms' Potter, we are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment._**

 ** _Term begins on 1_** ** _st_** ** _of September. We await your owl by no later than 31_** ** _st_** ** _July."_**

" ** _Yours sincerely,_**

 ** _Minerva McGonagall_**

 ** _Deputy Headmistress"._**

"A school?" I questioned, and as I looked at her she nodded.

"That's the school I went to, dear, and they send an invitation to every special child on their eleventh birthday." She nodded at her own words, then continued, "This is yours little Jen, although I wished I could keep you out of this world, I knew I couldn't do it forever, now you're going to learn who you truly are, honey…"

"You're a witch."

And these words, brought back what I had learned about myself back in that clearing, the words of Ulfric came clear to me, and I was certain now that he had not lied to me. My mother would never lie to me, and she had just said the same hadn't she?

Although anxious to know more, I saw that my mother teared up once more, and so I barrelled into her withanother hug, doing my best attempt to comfort her.

"You remind me so much of your father, always so confident, so sure…" A tear ran down her cheek, and she got off the chair to bend down her knees and kiss my cheek, "You will do great things, my beautiful Jen, and I'll be there to keep you safe every step of the way."

Then something I had never seen came into her hand, shooting out of her sleeve was a stick, a wooden, elaborate stick, which she twirled and swished as she muttered words in something she had told me once was Latin, it sounded strange, but soon turned irrelevant as a bright light surrounded me, and I felt completely overwhelmed by love, love that I hadn't felt just a moment ago, that I didn't even know was love, and it confused me so much yet felt so good, like it was only proper to love me, as I was my daughter – wait, what? How could I be my own daughter? It was weird, and scary, yet I felt safe all the same, and I soon started crying in my mother's arms.

Her embrace was warm, and I couldn't avoid calming down soon as she kissed my temple and rocked me gently, letting me know that I could always count on her.

I'd say that I was a pretty smart child, of course, how could I not praise myself? I was the best, no matter my failings, because I knew I would be perfect when I grew up, though I digressed, I asked mum; "What do we do now?"

"Now we go get your things, of course," was her reply, her voice once more collected and calm, as she stood once more, then carried me into her arms, "We have shopping to do, darling."

I knew for sure then, that everything would be alright.

* * *

 _ **Something new, that I hope people will enjoy, a magically sensitive, properly raised and very sensitive to emotions Harry, in a female form, how will this change canon? You'll have to wait and see on the next chapters, as you can see she isn't the BWL, or GWL as the case might be, because the prophecy was not fulfilled, explanations due the next chapter, cheers!**_

 _ **PD: Reviews would be highly appreciated, as they let me know what is wrong and what isn't, thus motivating me to go on.**_


	2. A shopping trip

**Hi all, it's been a while. Thank you all for the follows and favourites, I hope you enjoy the next.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't do this for profit, and I certainly don't own the rights to it. Rights to their proper owners.**

* * *

It was a short trek to my room, a few seconds, as even burdened with my weight my mother's longer stride easily overcame the staircase and forwarded into the bedroom. She sat me down on my bed, and began pulling out clothes from my wardrobe. I noticed, that she only pulled out dresses – Dreaded things, I cannot run in them and so I dislike them very much, did she want me to wear one?

"Jen, please put this on, I'd like to be back before lunch time." She said, as she handed me the hamper of a cream coloured sundress, the only one that I didn't mind wearing as it was loose enough on my legs to run if I wanted to. I quickly stripped down as she pulled out whatever else she would want me to wear, and slipped on the dress just as she came back, smoothed it down and handed me the hairbrush, her implication clear. She rose my foot, and strapped on my beige sandals as I brushed my hair to tidiness proper of a young girl, and soon enough we were off.

She took my hand, and as we walked down the stairs she sharply turned towards the back yard instead of the pavement outside, were we not going out yet? She looked back, and gently pulled me indicating that I should follow, and thus I did. Soon enough, we were in our backyard, the green grass slightly tickling my sandaled feet, the high bushes and the high wall that separated us from other houses giving us plenty of privacy. Mum looked around, at the windows, perhaps she didn't want neighbours to see what she wanted to do?

After enough glances, she once more took my hand and told me to hold my breath and close my eyes, of course, I followed her instructions, she had always told me that I had to do what she told me to because I was a good girl, then suddenly there was a yank in my stomach – navel, mum called that part? – And I felt like screaming, as if I was squeezed through a tiny hole, then came sudden onslaught of whatever I always felt in the yard, but larger, and it didn't seem that welcoming as the one back home was. When I opened my eyes again, we weren't on the yard anymore, instead we were on a side alley of what looked like a larger alley in of itself, but what I could see wasn't what surprised me, no, the surprising part was what I could _feel_ , this whole place felt completely different to any street I had been to before.

This wasn't normal of course, because outside I couldn't feel the walls without seeing them, back in London, but here I knew exactly where they were, why was this? It was confusing, as I could tell this place was… magical? – Before my musings could take off any longer, the feeling wasn't there anymore, like everything I deemed unimportant I simply didn't notice it anymore. I tried to feel it back, and to my surprise I could sense the wall next to me again when I focused on it.

Then came the sudden sense of dizziness, and I felt like I was going to be sick, as I lost my balance for a second or two.

Her voice broke me out of my musings, "Jen?" I heard, "Let's go, if you're ready, dear."

"Yes, mum." And I took her hand again, the dizziness wearing off quickly, as she had told me to always hold her hand in crowds, and off we were.

Everything in this alley was different, _strange_ , as it really wasn't anything like London. The shops were very different, and the names, while similar to things I had seen before, were still nothing like the normal shops back home, "Mum, where are we?" I asked, the itch to know having grown too strong.

"In Diagon Alley, Jen, this is where most wizards and witches come to get their needs," was her reply, "There's a little bit of everything here, and this is where we're going to buy the things on your list."

With that, we walked along until she stopped in front of a large building that had marble pillars along its façade, there was a huge door that was wide open, and people milling in and out every so often, we climbed the stairs to it and I saw the most strange of creatures, they looked like midgets, but their ears were like those of the elves in stories I had read, and they carried strange sticks with something sharp and scary looking on its end, it seemed to be made of metal and they were also covered in bulky armour, it looked quite uncomfortable and I wouldn't want to wear one, but who was I to judge the likes of others?

"Mum, what are those?"

She replied without looking, as if she had expected the question, "They are goblins, dear, they run the bank we are about to visit."

"Goblins are real?"

I only received a nod and a smile as response, but it was enough to satisfy me. Mum would never lie.

As I passed through the door, I could feel another field washing over me, but I could also feel, like I had felt that owl, the presence of something, in the direction where I had seen the goblin before. I looked back, and sure enough, the goblin was there, was him what I had been feeling?

This was strange, why could I feel where it was? Should I ask mum about this? No, it could be just a one-time thing, or it could be normal, I was new to this witch business after all.

A short time later, Mum and I were herded towards a teller, very similar to other banks I had been to over the course of my life, the only difference being the workers, as another goblin was acting as the teller in the booth. My mother let go of my hand, and as I looked she raised her hand and a ring suddenly came into her finger, one I had never seen before, and I was sure this wasn't her marriage ring as I could see it still on her other hand, and had been seeing it for all of my life, then she spoke, "I would visit the Potter vault, please," she grabbed my hand again, and the goblin grunted and nodded its – His, her? – head, and then walked out of the booth indicating we should follow. Mum walked behind, and I behind her, towards another set of doors.

As we crossed, we were led towards something similar to a mine cart, and there were tracks similar to those of a train, were we going to ride this thing? Why? Couldn't we walk? My questions had no time to be voiced as the goblin indicated towards two other goblins, my curiosity over why we would need more goblins overriding the other questions, "Mum, why are they coming? Isn't one enough to guide us?"

"You'll see," she smiled and squeezed my hand, and we all climbed into the cart.

The ride was, in short words, terrifying, but it was so much _fun!_

Mum looked very uncomfortable, but I was pretty happy to be going through it as we flew through the tracks, until I saw a waterfall in front of us.

"Hey! Hey, stop! We're going to crash!"

But they didn't stop, the cart kept going, inching faster and faster towards it, and I closed my eyes fearing the worst, but there was no impact, no crash, what had happened?

When I opened my eyes, there was no waterfall in front of me, I looked back and there it was, like we hadn't even gone through it, undisturbed.

"D-did we not just hit that waterfall over there?"

"Foolish child, it's just an enchantment to reveal if disguised people want to steal from us. No one steals from Gringotts."

Shortly after that, the ride was done and over with. My mother seemed thankful for this, but my adrenaline rush had yet to fade, it was so much fun that I wanted to do it again right now!

We were then led through a corridor, it was a bit dark but not scarily so, and then I felt something _massive_ was beyond the corridor, now THAT scared me, and I clung to mum as if she was my only chance of living at sea, which in a way she was, and we went across the arch that marked the end of the corridor. Outside, there was only one thing to call my eyesight, and I could only think one thing – big. And I meant BIG.

A little shriek escaped my throat, involuntarily released as my eyes met the head of the creature in front of me, "D-D-DRAGON!"

Mum hugged me, and let me hide my face in her clothes as the goblins chuckled, the sound cruel and similar to grinding rocks, and began jingling the strange things they carried with them. I could hear and feel how the dragon moved aside, as if scared, and mum carried me along in her arms after lifting me, and followed the goblins, as if she had done this thousands of times before. The walk was short, and soon enough I was put down, we were in another corridor, this one shorter than the last, which led to a gate with a P on its front, it had the shape of a cog, and the goblin inserted a key it seemed into it, then it moved aside.

The first sight was yellow, so much yellow, mum walked along and inside pulling me with her as I gaped at what seemed like mountains of yellow, no, _golden_ coins.

"Jen, grab as many as you want and have a little walk around, go on!" She encouraged me with a smile, and I immediately dashed into the pile nearest to me, I examined the coins, they had a dragon design in them, and the words _'Unum Galleon'_ were inscribed into them, the number 1 on the bottom side of it marking it as a unit. Mum threw me a little bag, which fell onto the pile, and I began filling it. I noticed something, though, when I had piled over 60 coins into the bag, yet it didn't seem full yet. In fact, it didn't seem as if it had one coin in it at all!

"Mum, why isn't this full yet? I've put at least 60 coins into it!"

"I've charmed it bottomless, Jen; it will take much more than 60 coins to fill it. Put in a few more and we should be good to go, I just wanted to show you the vault after all."

Once I was done, she beckoned me to her, and pointed to the wallpaper before us. On it, there were names, and I didn't recognize any of them until I saw my own, Jennifer Eleanor Potter, by the bottom and middle of it, on top, my mother's name, Lily Jennifer Potter, and right next my father's name, James Potter.

"This is our family tree, dear; there are your grandparents on your father's side, Charlus Potter and Dorea Black," She gestured towards the names, "They've been dead for a while, but you'll get to know their portraits someday, I promise you that."

I nodded, not knowing exactly what that meant, and we were on our way.

* * *

The shopping, surprisingly, didn't take long, as mum seemed to want to get everything done as fast as possible, we breezed through shop after shop gathering books, potions supplies which the names of every ingredient completely escaped me, a pet shop to, as mother called it, get my familiar, in the end I chose a beautiful snowy owl which I named Hedwig and after that we were on our way to a tailor, to get my uniform – which mum insisted I should call robes – sorted.

Madam Malkins, as she was introduced to me, was a very nice person, and she did her job diligently taking measures while avoiding causing me any discomfort, mum told her to use acromantula silk as the material, which I didn't know what it was, but it sounded quite expensive if it was silk. This confused me, as mum was never one to spend too much money, even if we had never had issues with it

It was not long after this that we continued our trip, having been told to pick up the ordered "robes" as mum called them later on after the measuring was done, and we headed towards our last stop; the wand maker's shop.

"Lily Evans, 10 and a quarter inches; good for charms." Drifted off from the back of the shop, as an old looking gentleman came out, his posture slouched and tired, yet his eyes somehow shined as I looked at him; and stare at me he did, as if he was seeing a treasure no one else had ever laid eyes on. It did not take long to decide I was uncomfortable.

"And you must be Miss Jennifer, I presume? Come along, we shall find you a wand today," he spoke, gesturing me to walk alongside him towards the counter, then slipped back behind it to grab little boxes off the shelves, and opening them. He handed me the first, a dark brown stick with a carved handle and what seemed like horses etched into it. "Go on, give it a wave," he prodded along, and I did, but nothing truly happened, nothing that was pleasant at least, as a wave of fire spit out towards the ceiling as I finished my movement; he rapidly snatched it off me and thus began the marathon of trying countless upon countless of wands, each of different materials, with each reaction more or less violent than the first, including one he said was Holly with a phoenix's feather inside.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, he pulled out a simple wand, with little swirls as patterns for decoration, and a carved handle; "A yew wand, a rare material to use, but very powerful indeed, with a mixed core; Dragon heartstring embossed with unicorn hair, this is the only wand of its kind I've ever made, it would be an honour for it to be yours."

He gestured me ahead, and upon my fingers reaching it, I felt different, I felt… complete, as if a part of my arm I never knew was there, suddenly came into presence and it _fit_ , just like my winter gloves, taut and on point, not hindering me one bit. A twirl and red little sparks flew off the tip, announcing to them that this was the one, after hours of waiting.

I felt pleased.

* * *

It didn't take long for us to get back home, mum decided to show me something new which she called Apparition, thus leading me to a space that was, apparently, reserved from that. It was a strange feeling, and extremely dizzying, but I was fine soon after, although I don't think I'd like repeating the experience of being squeezed through a thin tube. Did all magical transportation leave you feeling like this? Mum had called the one from earlier a portkey, and she seemed fine both times, maybe you got used to this with time.

I couldn't keep my hands off my wand, and every time I was about to wave it about mother would speak out and give me a stern look, though this didn't dim my excitement one bit, in the end she had to take it away from me as she said if I casted anything by accident or luck, I'd get in trouble with the magical government whom she explained, were completely separate from our normal one.

"Mum, shouldn't they answer to the Queen, still?" Was my question, as it was always taught we all answered to our sovereign Queen Elizabeth II, it was in our national anthem after all.

"No dear, they have to keep themselves separate or we would break international law, and the muggles wouldn't react nicely to some people having our gift instead of all of them," she looked at me as if was she was going to say next was extremely important, and continued; "You should never reveal this to anyone who doesn't know already, the last time it was common knowledge we were… hunted down, for lack of a better word, you might have covered this in school already, the witch hunts, they were a big tragedy for our people."

"Mum, what's muggles?"

"Muggles are those without the gift of magic, love, those with magic who were born of muggles are called muggleborns, like me, and the ones born from a muggleborns and a magical are called half-bloods," she explained, "to some people in this world, this is a very important thing." She shook her head, and continued, "but for us, it's no big deal; your father was a nobleman between them, and you're going to inherit everything including the title when you turn 17."

"What do you mean noble?" I never knew our family had any royal ties, did this mean I'd get to sleep in Windsor castle?

"Not like the royal family, but different. Older," she carried me once more, striding towards the kitchen as it was supper time already, and as ever since I tried once when I was seven, we did it together as much as we could. "The Potter family is classed by the wizards as a Most Ancient and Noble house, and James once said they could be traced back to the year 997, but I haven't seen the full family tree to confirm this."

"Can I see it next time we go to Gringotts?" I asked while I pulled out the ingredients for what we would make today, vegetables and condiments alongside to be cut and prepared, with the meat mum had already put aside, into Meatballs.

"Yes honey, it shouldn't be long until we do." And as I had no other questions, small talk between us flittered as we cooked, and the rest of the night flowed until it was time to go to sleep.

Soon enough, I was asleep.

* * *

Trees, everywhere, I don't remember how I got here, but everything is happening to fast to be real, and I feel lost, even with the little voice in my head telling me where to go, _north, go north,_ it said, and so I kept on, knowing this was most likely a dream and that it couldn't hurt to know where it led. Soon enough, I was in that clearing again, with everything as it was when I got there first, with the empty seat-looking space in the tree, yet the whispers I could hear which I could only assume were the forest speaking to me again, beckoned me forwards deeper into it.

 _Sit,_ was the last whisper, and with a shrug I moved ahead towards it, intent of seating myself there and see what would happen afterwards, and thus I sat.

Nothing happened for a few seconds, and I felt slightly silly, but I decided it was comfortable enough to wait until I woke up in, and so I stayed there, but then it was different, I could feel the high speed thoughts I had heard before, but slower, and I could detail more words from them, they sounded strange, and I couldn't understand the words, but I knew what they meant, for the most part anyway. It was then that I noticed, as I felt a brief pain in both of my wrists that this was no ordinary dream, and when I looked to see what was causing it, circles with detailed shapes coming out of it, which looked suspiciously like a stag's horns, were on both of them, one each and in the same place. What was this? I hadn't seen this before, had I? I'm pretty sure I never had any marks let alone tattoos in my arms, and this _definitely looks like a tattoo._

Mum is going to kill me if she sees this!

I thought of a way to stop her from seeing it, and the forest answered, although it felt different this time, it felt… _amused?_ Did this mean the forest was _alive!?_

Excitement coursed through me, oh, how much could I learn from a tree? On second thought, probably not much, since they do sit still for ages and grow… and grow…

Maybe they could teach me how to get taller!

A giggle, and I leant back, thinking again to how I could hide these from mum, and I got a feeling in response, which I tried to imitate, it was somewhat instinctive as I – asked? Coaxed? – I wouldn't know what I did, but I willed my magic to wash over my arms with the thought of _hide_ ringing as a chant, and sure enough the marks became invisible… along with my arms below the elbow.

Of course, I could still feel them, but this did nothing to calm my panic.

A shriek, and I could hear a hare scatter away from the clearing, but this didn't matter, _my arms were gone!_

I strongly wanted them back, and my magic answered, and back they were. Okay, not trying this again.

Suddenly, I heard a loud sound, and I felt pulled, though I didn't know to where, and my eyes closed by themselves. The next time I opened, I was back in my room staring at the bedroom door, where mum was waiting.

Ah, so there goes the night.

* * *

 **Reviews appreciated, but not mandatory, and thank you once more for reading.**

 **As sidenote, I'm looking for a beta reader, since two heads think better than one.**


	3. Into the rabbit hole

_**It's been a while. I'm glad to see you people again, please enjoy the next installment.**_

 _ **Some of the dialog was taken from the philosopher's stone, and of course I don't own Harry Potter or its characters. Cheers.**_

* * *

The train was noisy. We hadn't been here long, shy of five minutes ago I had said my goodbyes to a teary eyed mother, who forced me to promise coming back at the holidays – which she had always called yuletide for some strange reason – despite me having no previous plans not to. I was perhaps in the middle of the number of carts that composed it, and the loud chitter of children confined in closed spaces could be heard. Of course, the door to the compartment I sat on was still open, so perhaps once I closed it and the train started it wouldn't be so bad.

It had been some time since that strange dream where I felt something be burned unto my wrists, that something was, as I thought, a tattoo. It was also that night where I learned that I could hide it by wishing it gone, and sometimes I couldn't believe I could do that. In those times, I would roll up my sleeve and will it back, to stare and ponder just what it meant and if it really was there. This was one of those times.

Sure enough, even though I doubted it would for a scant time, a circle came into existence, with formations akin to horns protruding from it. I had gone to a forest some time ago, and walking through it I heard the answer, which despite being vague, it felt it was sufficient. Walking through, the forest whispered as it had in my dreams, _Father's mark,_ it said, and by now I had learned that I must be insane, or trees really could talk. Even so, the marks were a fact, and it didn't end there.

Just as I could make my marks disappear, and my arms for that matter as I did within the dream, so could I make my body vanish. I decided to try it once more, wondering if the couple times I had done it before were just flukes, and so with a little exertion and the focused wish of _'not-being-seen'_ , as sudden as I thought it, I was no longer there.

Except I _was_ there.

Ugh, magic was just confusing. However, this could have its uses, and just as a pondered this, a red headed child, a boy, peeked around the border of the compartment door, confused at the emptiness of it.

"I was sure she was here," he muttered, then shrugged it off and ran along. Who could this be, I wondered?

And so the train began its movement, marking the start of a long trek. I was prepared, as mum had packed me sandwiches and apparently I had enough gold in my bag to buy food for a month, so I settled back into my seat comfortably, and willed myself back into visibility.

* * *

It was strange, I supposed, that it took this long for someone to knock on my door looking for a place to sit, after all this _was_ the middle of the train and it was more likely people sat here than at the end, alas it had taken… two hours? Before I had contact with anyone. That was good, yet bad, as I suppose I should strive to make friends there, but I was happy with the quiet once I had shut the door.

"Have you seen a toad here?" Came the question, a bushy haired girl that clearly wasn't much older than me, looked at me, then the compartment, as she queried.

"I'm sorry, but no." I answered, and it was true since after all, I hadn't seen any toads, nor frogs, this far. If I had, the whole train would know about it, from the shriek that would come from my throat. Alas, this was not the time to let myself be lost in thought, as this girl could be my very first friend!

"Ah, very well, Neville here lost his toad Travers, and it could be anywhere, so I thought I'd check." She flashed me a little smile, and then introduced herself; "My name is Hermione, by the way, I'm a muggleborn." Pride seemed to seep from her words and I wondered what she would feel if she met some of the more radical kids and said this.

"I'm Jennifer, A half blood," was my reply, simple, curt and to the point, as some people liked it. Conveniently, it was also how I liked it.

Another smile and she said her farewells, and then continued on her path.

I took this as my cue to eat my food, as I was quite hungry by this point. I couldn't understand how some people didn't like ham, it seemed unfathomable.

Ham was good.

* * *

I had never been so far north in my life, but it seemed nice. The country side outside the window was beautiful as the sun sank unto the horizon, and I wondered how much longer it would be until we got there, as I really wanted to enjoy this sight as much as I could.

Alas, a short time later and the sun were down, the moon rising into nightfall and the train rolled to a stop. I took it as the cue to get off, of course, my owl and trunk carried in my hands as I joined the throng of young people exiting the train.

"Firs' years 'ere! Firs years!" I heard the bellows in a strangely accented voice, and looked towards the source as I was, indeed, a first year. It was a huge man, the tallest I had ever seen, and quite round, perhaps simile of a balloon inflated just below its bursting point. The crowed moved along, and I moved with them, a slight fear of being trampled in the back of my head. Then he counted heads, and we swiftly moved along towards what seemed like a shoreline. A lake, perhaps? Upon laying eyes on the boats loosely fit upon it, I confirmed that yes; it could only be a lake. Then we were told to mount ourselves atop them, and then we were once more off. I was handed a lantern, and with me there were four other children on the boat, a girl, with long red hair that reminded me of my mother's, a blonde girl with pigtails, and another two whose dark hair I couldn't tell the shades in the dim lighting.

It was only polite to introduce myself, right?

"Hi, I'm Jen," I said, and immediately the thought of how lame I sounded came to mind. Of course, I tried to ignore this and move on since what was done was done.

"Hi! I'm Susan," Piped up the redhead, with a slight smile planted on her face. She seemed excited. "And this is Hanna;" she pointed to the girl with pigtails that sat next to her, "get ready to be impressed, my aunt says the first sight of the castle is magnificent!"

I couldn't blame her enthusiasm, I guess, but I was moderate, my thought remained itself to wait and see. "So says my mother," piped up one of the dark haired girls; "She said it was more impressive than the Eiffel tower, from the many times she's gone to Paris."

A nod, and she carried on, "I'm Greengrass, Daphne; this here is Tracey, of house Davis."

The other girl tilted her head slightly and raised an eyebrow, a gesture that seemed fit for an older girl, rather than the eleven, maybe twelve year old girl that she ought to be, "What house are you from, Jen?" and she looked intensely at me, as if trying to come up with the answer by herself.

"Potter;" was my reply, they _had_ given me their full names, and it was only polite to do so as well, right? I thought it was no problem. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, it's just curiosity," she said, and smiled. "I like to know everything I can."

"Look! It's over there!" Piped Susan, pointing a finger across the bend of the hill, and sure enough there it was, a structure that looked quite ancient, _a castle,_ with many lights, and battlements and towers among it, with the stars and the moon as backdrop, it was absolutely magnificent.

"...Yes, mother was correct," Came the voice of which I recognised as Daphne, "This is quite impressive. Adequate, I'd say, for the respected mages that go here."

I wasn't hearing her anymore, truthfully, for the gentle blowing wind had other words for me, they were vague, they were faint, but they were full of meaning. _Future, home, enlightenment, Father._

The rest of the girls chittered amongst themselves, with me contributing slightly every so often, as we approached what seemed like the port for the castle, other children who got there first already disembarking and climbing up the stairs, then they seemingly vanished from sight after they rose to the curve hidden behind a large rock. They did not seem to be there after it, as there were other stairs perfectly within sight that had to be part of this one.

Suspicious, I thought.

* * *

We disembarked, and as I walked they walked alongside me, deep in conversation in their little designated pairs, sometimes interchanging words before turning back to what seemed to be their friend from before Hogwarts. I of course took part in both, but not as much as I possibly could have, far from that, no, I was too concerned with _where_ the other students had gone as I still could not see any in the rest of the staircase. As we climbed up, my nerves were rising slightly, what would happen if this was a trap and they were getting captured and hurt right after that bend?

Ridiculous, I thought, we came here to learn and it was, as it said, the safest place in magical Britain. Why would anyone hurt us?

But this didn't quell my nerves entirely. Soon enough, we were just before the bend, and as we crossed, I took one step to continue… and I wasn't in the staircase anymore, well, I _was_ , but it definitely was not the bit of staircase I was on before. There was a wide hall with large doors right in front of me, and my foot was planted on what looked like the last step on the staircase.

Suddenly, Susan seemed to blur into existence right next to me, and it startled me. A little yelp, and her hand shot out to grab mine, preventing my tumble down what looked like _a lot_ of steps. Suddenly, I was thankful for the existence of both whatever made us get here faster, and the girl who had yet to let go of my hand.

"Are you okay, Jen?" She asked, and I nodded with a slight nervous smile. She then pulled me off the last step and pushed on into the hallway, where she finally released my hand. She smiled back, and said; "Thank the Father I saw you, that would have really hurt!"

I once again nodded, with a broader smile, perhaps this girl would be my actual first friend in this castle.

By this point, the rest of our little group had joined us, and others were popping onto the steps right behind us, and so we trudged down the hall onto the gates where a stern looking old woman waited.

"Welcome to Hogwarts;" She said, she seemed quite happy to see our group together; perhaps she was truly devoted to teaching? "Now, in a few moments you will pass these doors and join your classmates, but before you can take your seats, you must be sorted into your houses."

This was, and wasn't, news to me. My mother said she was a Gryffindor in school, and I assume this was what she meant, the house that is.

"The houses are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin." She stated, and then carried on, "Now while you're here, your house will be like your family, your triumphs will earn you points, any rule breaking, and you will lose points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup –

I know she wasn't finished, and I know it's rude to interrupt, but just as she was speaking, a toad jumped into sight. I heard it drop down, and it was _close to me,_ and it was ohsoterrifyingpleasemakeitgoaway!

"Trevor!" a kid bellowed, who I later assumed was the named Neville that Hermione had mentioned before, and thus Trevor would be the name of the hellspawn creature of hatred and _wrong_ that was currently scaring the daylights out of me. Of course, cue the shriek out of my throat once my brain finished registering there was a toad in my presence, and a little jump just to be caught by someone, who had already caught me before. I cowered, and she hugged me, and it was strangely comforting. I had only let mum hug me before, should I be letting this girl hug me? I knew who it was, her hair was red, and there was only one girl in our group that had red hair. Thus, only Susan could be her.

"It's okay, it's okay!" she said quickly, and hugged me tighter, "it's been put away, you can look now," and as I looked, the before mentioned Neville had the toad in hand and I let go of a breath that I didn't know I was holding, I sent an unnoticed death glare at the boy that said _'keep it away from me or I'll hurt you',_ but the oblivious child was too busy with the stare he was receiving from the obvious teacher in front of us.

He apologized, and turned back into the group, and so she carried on.

"The sorting ceremony will begin momentarily." Was all she said, and turned her back on us gesturing to follow.

"It's true then." Someone said out loud, "What they were saying on the train. Potter has come to Hogwarts."

Whispers rose amongst us, and the girls that had been with me on the boat had knowing looks and in the case of Tracey, smug grins.

"This is Crabbe, and Goyle." The boy who called my attention nodded towards two other boys who were quite large for their age, "and I'm Malfoy."

He walked towards me, to stand in front of me, "Draco Malfoy," a little snicker was heard, and the boy whipped his head towards another red headed boy that was near; "Think my name is funny, do you? I don't have to ask yours." A little sneer, "Red hair, hand-me-down robes, you must be a Weasley." Then the boy turned back towards me, and continued on, his rude expression once more gone off his face. "You'll soon find out that some wizarding families are better than others, Potter. You don't wanna go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there."

A hand was extended, intent to be shook, but I knew I didn't want to hang around this boy. He seemed like the 'wrong sort' to me.

"I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself, thanks, and I think I've found a good friend by myself already." I turned towards Susan and a bright, beaming smile was rewarded to me. Apparently, she was very pleased by that statement.

The boy seemed to want to bark back at my reply, but before he had the chance, the stern looking professor was behind him and addressed us after tapping his back with a rolled up paper that looked very much like parchment, seriously, what was with mages and parchment? Did they not use notebooks like everyone else?

"We are ready for you now. Follow me." And thus we did.

* * *

It wasn't very long after, we were put into a line and walked into a quite large hall filled with people and four long tables, banners hung from the ceiling supported apparently nowhere, as when I looked up what appeared to be the night sky of Scotland looked back at me. "It's enchanted," I heard a girl say somewhere near us, below the sky floated countless candles and braziers lined the sides of it, providing the light for what seemed to be the place everyone took their meals. Impressive. "I read about it in Hogwarts: A history," I only caught the tail end of what she said after what I first heard, but it seemed like this girl was quite into reading. Maybe she could be a friend if I knew who she was.

The end of the tables were empty as we walked along the path left between the two middle ones, and right before us stood a single stool, with a patchy old hat which seemed positively ancient perched upon it. The witch that led us turned back, and stopped us right before the rise towards what seemed to be the head table, "Before we start, the headmaster has some words for you."

"I have a few start of term notices that I wish to announce," came as he stood up, a rather big man, with a large beard that reached the middle of his stomach. From what I could see, his hair also went past his shoulders, and it was completely white; how old could this man be?

"The first years please note, that the dark forest is strictly forbidden to all students, also our caretaker, Mister Filch," he pointed towards a man that stood at the doors, he looked quite uncaring of himself, his skin looked rather filthy and his head was balding, hair looking like an unwashed mutt's furcoat rather than a person's hair. He looked and oozed unpleasantness with his presence, "Has asked me to remind you, that the third floor corridor on the right hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not want to die a most painful death."

A thank you resounded on my ears but my mind was entirely focused on something else, a most painful death? Why would there be something capable of causing such things in a school? It made no sense at all.

"I'm gonna call your name," her accent flared, "you will come forth and I shall place the sorting hat on your head, and thus sorted into your houses."

"Abbot, Hannah!" rang, and the girl with blonde pigtails walked forth, then sat upon the stool. It took not long at all. "HUFFLEPUFF!" Came the bellow from _the hat itself_ , this was quite surprising and once again I found myself jumping. Susan, who seemed to have taken it upon herself to stay behind me at all times, held me steady once more.

"You're so skittish, Jen." She giggled, and I found my cheeks heating slightly. I was most definitely not skittish!

Well, perhaps a little.

Cheers and claps sounded around us from the table of students with yellow trimmings, while respectful claps seemed to come from the rest of tables.

"Bones, Susan;" and she moved past me in a delicate yet slightly rushed way, nerves clearly written on her face as she sat down and the hat was sat on her head, this one took longer, and I took the time to wander with my sight towards the teachers. One of them was staring squarely at me.

"GRYFFINDOR;" Came the bellow, and loud cheers came from the tableful of teens with red trimming. I also clapped for my friend, and her face seemed quite happy although perhaps a bit concerned for not being with her friend, yet she beamed as she ran to the table so I was pleased.

The names of course, ran on.

Until it was such a time that it was my turn.

"Potter, Jennifer."

And so I moved on ahead, apprehension was clear in my face, would I be put with someone I know already? Daphne and Tracey had both gone to Slytherin already, but so had that ponce Malfoy. Then there was Hannah in Hufflepluff, but she had been quiet towards me and so I didn't get that much of an impression of her.

I hoped I would get Gryffindor, so I wouldn't be with so many strangers.

I sat, and the hat sat upon me, and immediately I felt something going _into my head,_ but it didn't seem harmful, yet I was still wary of it.

The hat spoke out loud, "Difficult, very difficult…" then the conversation shifted onto thoughts. I could hear the hat speak, but the hat _wasn't_ speaking, so this must be just like what the forest had done sometimes. Very strange.

 _"_ _You are quite intelligent, and very observant, perhaps you belong amongst the children of my mistress Ravenclaw? But you are also quite persuasive, and seem to want to achieve many things, you would be great in Slytherin, you would. Then, there is this massive amount of courage you have, you seem very predisposed to protect others, aren't you?"_

The thoughts swirled, and I decided that it couldn't hurt… _"Can I go to Gryffindor?"_

The hat hummed. _"Why, child? You would be a fine addition and fit in quite well there, yes, but you would also fit quite perfectly in Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Is there something else pulling you towards there?"_

My thoughts went fast, _lonely, friend,_ as I looked towards the Gryffindor table and saw the two girls I had shared a few words with looking at me, smiles and anticipation on their faces.

 _"_ _I see, then you shall be…"_ and it stopped speaking in my mind, to instead boom out of its rim; "GRYFFINDOR!"

Once more the table in red erupted into cheers, while the rest politely clapped. Two redheaded teenagers stood up and began chanting 'We got Potter, We got Potter', why my name seemed so relevant I was unaware of. Alas, that wasn't quite important, so I walked towards the table. I noticed that where she sat, in front of Hermione, she asked the boy beside her, Finnegan I think, to scoot over, and they all made space at her wish, impressive. I made my way there, and sat right next, and her excited chatter began with me as the sole target.

I felt a smile crawl unto my face.

* * *

"Aren't you excited to finally be at Hogwarts!?" she excitedly chirped once the sorting was finally over, not long after a boy made the now-remembered Seamus scoot over once more and introduced himself as Ronald Weasley, the boy who almost got into a fist fight at the stairs.

"I am, but apparently not as much as you, Susan," and it was true, I didn't have nearly as much time as she could have to anticipate this, after all, it'd been only a month since I received my letter, and three since I knew magic was real. My mother hadn't seen fit to tell me, apparently happy with giving me this surprise.

"Why is that? I couldn't stop thinking about it since I got my first accidental magic!" She seemingly lost herself in thought for a moment, her smile widening,

"Well, I didn't actually know it existed until last month."

"You didn't know!?" came from the boy that now sat next to me, the one who called himself Ronald, as if he was personally offended by that. "But you're the daughter of James Potter! The hero of the last war! How could you not know of magic?"

"My mother didn't tell me," was my flat toned reply, apparently the boy was quite passionate about what he thought, and that was fine, really… as long as he didn't try to force his thoughts on me. I turned back, and resolutely ignored his incredulous look on his face.

"So you're basically a muggleborn, then, Jen?" she said, and there was a glim of what I could only call curiosity in her eye; "You must know so many things of the muggles! You have to tell me everything, there's so much I want to know," and so we carried on talking as we ate our fill, and not long after the food disappeared from in front of us, a boy who looked quite older than us stood and asked us first years to follow him, and so we were on our way towards what would be our dorm for the next seven years. We climbed many stairs, that moved by themselves and wove a somewhat confusing pattern between them, passing through the landing of the corridor that was said out of bounds. The portraits hung about the walls, and pointed at us, their inhabitants, was that the right word? A quick question to Susan confirmed yes, the inhabitants looked at us with gleaming smiles and claps as we were the new generation of Hogwarts, just beginning our education, as they must have seen hundreds if not thousands before us.

Soon enough, at the seventh floor, we came upon a painting of a Lady in pink, she seemed aristocratic and rather plump, and with a singsong voice she asked the lead for the password.

The prefect, as he was to be called, uttered it loudly and clearly, intent on it registering unto our memories as best as we could do so, and then the portrait swung open, and we trooped inside.

The room was rather comfortable looking, there were tables, love seats, long couches, armchairs, a pin board with what seems like notifications was on one side, broad windows towards the grounds on the other, and book cases lining the walls, all in a pleasant shade of burgundy.

We were then split in two lines and led towards two staircases that were one aside the other, the left side for the girls, right for the boys, and so we were on our way towards our dorms, in another set of stairs that curved upwards.

The girl prefect, who had waited for us on the staircase, led us first years to the fifth floor of the stair case, which would now be our dorm. As we were let inside the circular room, armoires with mirrors, and little desks filled the space, with chairs in front of them to serve as study places, and medium sized four poster beds finished the assembly. All of us present, Hermione, Susan, a couple of girls by the name Parvati and Lavender, a girl named Fay and myself, looked between the beds and desks in the room for our belongings that had been sent up already, and I ended up nestled between Fay and Susan.

Parvati and Lavender seemed well acquainted already, incessantly chattering in variable tones as everyone settled themselves and their belongings while Hermione busied herself with filling the top of her desk with books. I decided on unpacking my clothes and making use of the old but beautiful looking – antique probably was the word – armoire that was provided for us, glimpses on the mirror of myself every time I reached down into my trunk to pull more clothes out.

Soon enough, it was time for all of us to settle into bed, as some of the girls retired and the rest quieted down to let them sleep, the lights were eventually put off, and curtains drawn.

Hermione had said that the curtains were enchanted so no noise came into the bed area, so I had purposefully left mine not completely drawn so I could hear if anything was going wrong, and thus I could hear the slight snoring of Fay that had perhaps unintentionally done the same. I got myself up, and finished drawing her curtain so as to not be bothered by her snoring after about thirty minutes of it, it took a quick mental debate on whether it'd be better to close hers or my own, and it seemed that all of the other girls were asleep already. As I settled back into bed, I was proven wrong when Susan slipped out from within her curtain and stepped towards my four poster, soon enough she was sitting cross legged right next to my legs, and she apologized, "I'm sorry, I couldn't sleep." She said, "I'm not really used to being by myself, I've never slept anywhere other than my bed."

"Me either," my reply was honest, and truly I didn't know if I could sleep here if I tried. It was quiet, yes, but truthfully it was the first time I slept without knowing my mum was nearby and only a yell away. It felt rather uncomfortable once I realized this.

"So… since we can't sleep, what can you tell me about muggles?" she said as she finished closing the curtain, apparently she did not want to bother the others, nevermind that their own curtains were shut and thus couldn't hear us, but it was the thought that mattered.

"Well, what do you want to know?"

"Did you go to muggle school?" I nodded, "How was it? Did you have a lot of friends?"

"It was… nice, I guess." I replied with a little uncertainty, how do you explain school to someone else? It seemed so unreal. "I didn't have all that many friends, I always liked being by myself."

"Oh…" in the dim lighting, almost pitch dark really, I couldn't see much of her expression, but her words seemed a bit sad, "Well, now you have a friend for life, I promise!" and then she lunged into hugging me, falling right on top of me in a tumble.

"Oof," left my lips, as some of the air was pushed out of me, and she giggled and apologized, but did not let go of me. "Too much enthusiasm!" I cried, "but I appreciate it, I really do."

"Jen… do you mind if we keep talking? I really can't sleep, and I know you need to but…"

"It's okay, I'm sure we'll be fine in the morning."

And so, she kept asking, and I kept answering, at some point in the night she shuffled under the covers and I began asking my own questions, who knew wizards used brooms to fly? Certainly I didn't. Next thing I know the girl was yawning, and soon enough she had fallen asleep right next to me, cuddled into my side. I decided this wasn't bad at all.

And so the night finally took me.

* * *

 _ **Didn't think I'd squeeze out this much, but here it is, I'll try to get the next one out much sooner. Reviews appreciated.**_


	4. These things aren't supposed to happen

**Welcome again! Enjoy the next chapter.**

* * *

There was something different about this morning. You see, it smelt like cinnamon, but it wasn't supposed to smell like cinnamon, even my sleep addled brain knew that I wasn't home, where mum would drink her cinnamon tea early in the morning, and kept some warm for when it was time for me to get up. Yet, it did smell like cinnamon.

It also felt like I was wrapped in a heated blanket, like those I used when I was sick in the winter in years past, but I'm not sick, and I'm not home, so why would I have one of those? Would they even work in the castle?

I opened my eyes, and it all explained itself, she was still here then, clutching me tightly in her sleep, and it was her hair tickling my nose with the smell. Should I wake her up? I don't think the students are supposed to sleep in other beds than their own…

It wasn't long before she woke up, but long enough that I felt slightly anxious about waking her up or not, my bladder wasn't exactly huge, and _I really really had to pee._

She looked up, and her cheeks coloured once she figured out what had happened, an embarrassed sounding "Sorry," left her lips, "I shouldn't have fallen asleep on you."

"It's… fine," I mumbled looking at her, which apparently made her more embarrassed, and nodded; "Susan…"

"Yes?"

"I need to pee," and my words had immediate effect, as she had yet to let go of me in any way, her leg thrown over mine and arm tightly around me uncoiled themselves and I was free to get up and go about my business quickly after, her face showed even more embarrassment but apparently, she was happy about the whole thing, strange girl.

Sliding the curtain open revealed that the rest of the girls had either left already, or were still asleep, the old but pretty watch that mum had given me marking the time as half past six, and our first lesson wouldn't be hold until eight, so I guessed they were still asleep. Bathroom business was quick, and so I returned to the dorm to get myself changed and maybe lay down with my eyes closed for a bit longer. A glance through the half opened curtain as I rummaged through the armoire proved that _she was still in my bed._

"Susan?" I asked, trying not to stare at her as I did, sharply returning my gaze to the armoire and selecting a robe between the twelve Mum had ordered.

"Yes, Jen?" was her reply, and a glance revealed a sheepish smile thrown my way with her eyes focused solely on me.

"Why are you still in my bed?" and another glance, her cheeks coloured again, rather matching her hair in fact but still she smiled instead of the slight awkwardness I felt.

"I liked it better than mine, is all;" was her reply, as she made herself even more comfortable, curling into a little ball under my covers and releasing a pleased sounding hum.

"You should get out of it before the others wake up, you know," and I had everything I needed to change in hand by now, so I slipped back between the curtains and began the process of taking off my sleepwear and replacing it with my uniform.

"Why? I slept with Hannah all the time before school, it shouldn't be a problem," she sat up, and continued looking at me, never mind the fact that I was half naked by this point.

"Normally, people don't share a bed unless they're married." I deadpanned, and that got her moving, apparently it was enough of a shock that she planted her head into my pillow, trying to hide her obvious embarrassment, and I continued; "Also, staring at me won't get you changed either." And she groaned, and I giggled, and soon enough she was off to get herself sorted out.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad around here.

* * *

The walk to the Great Hall felt rather short, even if it was our actual first day here the castle didn't feel so huge anymore, and we quickly got the hang of the moving staircases after the odd scare here and there. The tables weren't quite as full as you'd expect, with the early hour we took our leave from the dorm we managed to reach our destination before the apex of the morning rush. This of course, left us plenty of choice as to where to sit, and so we did, in a place towards the middle of it, after the sight of bacon called my attention urgently.

Again, ham was good.

It was with sore disappointment that I noticed pretty much every drink on the table was made of pumpkin. _Pumpkin._ Who the hell – pardon my French – drinks pumpkin juice like this?

A kid down the table apparently followed my train of thought, the choice between water and pumpkin juice seemed as awful to him as I, and he seemed to be performing an impressive charm in order to change this; "Eye of rabbit, harp string hum, turn this water into rum!"

Of course, this didn't seem to work at all. Maybe he's just doing it wrong? I don't know if it's even possible. Maybe if I try?

I pulled out my wand, careful to keep it out of sight, maybe it'd make it easier, it _did_ make making myself invisible easier as I had tried in the bathroom earlier, and then I thought that if I can make myself vanish, I can change this into apple juice. And so, stare, stare, _stare…_

Nothing, welp, can't get all of them right.

Susan of course noticed my predicament, as she seemed quite intent on keeping her eyes on me at all times; this was quite new and rather strange to me, but I guessed it was normal for normal people. I did stare at others myself before, after all.

"My auntie said that if I wanted something different, I could ask the elves;" and then she pointed towards the goblet in front of me, "I'm guessing you don't like pumpkin?"

A shake of my head, and a munch on a piece of bacon – I couldn't ignore it forever if my life depended on it – was all the answer she got, but it seemed satisfactory, and she whispered a name, something seemingly like Tipsy, and a small creature with long ears, dressed with what seemed like a tea towel toga, appeared right behind us with a slight, almost inaudible pop, "Missy is needing Tipsy?" it asked in a squeaky voice, with a strange accent, eyes planted firmly on Susan.

"Hello, can you bring us some orange juice please? You like oranges, right Jen?" I nodded, and she nodded towards the elf which beamed and snapped its little fingers – maybe it was a she? – and a pitcher filled with orange juice was sat in the table right in front of us; "Thank you," she said, and the elf bowed and disappeared again. Wonder if I could do that…

Something to try later, for right now, my stomach had other plans. A sandwich built like a chimera with everything that seemed delicious I could find, a bit of soup, and I was set for a really good morning today!

* * *

It was definitely not a good morning. You see, I made sure to get up as soon as I woke up exactly to avoid this, but it seemed I wasn't successful, at all. The problem is that, I'm lost, and the worst part of it, is that Susan is too.

After a rather good – stuffing, truly – breakfast, we were supposed to have ample time to make our ways towards the Transfiguration classroom in the east wing, it was supposed to be just a couple corridors down from the Great Hall, in front of a square garden nestled there. The thing is that we couldn't find it, and by this point we were surely late to class. Susan didn't seem to care overly much, saying that we'd find it eventually, but really I couldn't help but worry as I knew the stern witch that had first met us at the castle was the one teaching the class, and surely we'd lose a huge amount of points because of this – my rail of thought was interrupted by Susan speaking out loud – louder than she was already – and pointing towards a patch of green; the square!

"Look, there! Come on, let's hurry up!" she grabbed my hand and began her trot towards what should be the classroom door, it was closed already so I knew we were truly late, and within a few strides and I nearly falling due to her haste, she was knocking on the door – without letting me go mind you – and it groaned open as only an old wooden door can, the stern look directed at us quite sobering.

"We're so sorry! We got lost an hour ago on the way here, we still don't really know the castle," I blurted out as fast as I could, her gaze shifting to me, and it was _scary_ , and Susan still hasn't let go of me darn it!

"Five points from Gryffindor, each;" she sentenced, and pointed towards one of the last two desks free, "Let this not happen again. Sit down and pay attention; there is much to be covered today."

Just as we sat, a boy I identified as Ronald barged into the classroom, face flushed with effort as it seemed he has just run through the castle, waltzed through the door and sat on the last desk available, the faintly echoing sound of Professor McGonagall resounding another five point deduction, and the stares of all gathered Gryffindors planted themselves firmly upon all three of us for a few seconds.

That's interesting.

And so class began, the theory behind transfiguration wasn't as complex as it seemed, in the short terms it seemed to boil down to making the object think it was something else, via magic, as if that was empirical at all, but maybe magic and scientific concepts just didn't get along that much. The lecture was rather stretched, and it covered the safety rules for what we could and could not try to transfigure, and what was safe to transfigure other things into. Then, it came to the practical part, we were then set to work on turning a matchstick into a needle, the instructions were to see the needle in your mind instead of the matchstick, and then use your wand to channel your magic and make the change happen.

 _Simple enough,_ I thought, and so began trying it, focusing very hard on making the wood into metal; I stared at it for about twenty seconds, waved my wand over it then flicked and… nothing.

I glanced to my left to see how Susan was doing, and she seemed to have done the same as I, that is, exactly nothing, and so began a quite tiresome hour of attempt after attempt without success, although there was a funny incident where the same boy who had tried to change his water to Rum, Seamus he was called, managed to set his matchstick on fire. Of course, the Professor immediately put the fire out and admonished him, over the snickers of the whole class at his now lack of eyebrows. Alas, the frustration was mounting for me, and I grabbed the matchstick between my thumb and forefinger of my right hand, bringing it close to my face, maybe looking at it from closer, getting all the details would help.

That was the excuse I had for myself, though; in reality my thoughts are more along the lines of change already you stupid stick, change, change, _change!_

Wait, did that just happen? A silvery glint answered me, and I refocused on the stick to find it wasn't a stick any longer, well, it _was_ , but it certainly wasn't wood anymore. It was metal! I had a _needle_!

Giddy thoughts, yes, I had accomplished the task already! Wait, was it pointy? A poke to the tip of my finger… ouch, yes, yes it was.

"Susan!" I chirped, and turned towards her; "Look what I've got! I did it!"

I nearly shoved the damn thing into her face, in my excitement, her eyes slightly crossing and she leaned back in order to actually _look_ at the object between my fingers.

"Is that a needle?" she questioned and then chirped; "You've managed! Brilliant!"

I nodded furiously, a beaming smile on my face, and then proceeded to try and help her out with hers.

Everything was working out just fine.

* * *

The routine settled in rather quickly, the first few days went by without any unexpected hitches, and I seemed to be doing brilliantly in every class, although in a different way to everyone else. You see, the rest of my class seemed to depend entirely on their wands, and I tried to as well, but everything just worked out better when I _willed_ it into happening rather than using my wand. On charms, we had been started onto the levitation charm, and though we were basically negating the laws of physics, the incantation was ridiculously simple.

Swish and flick your wand, intone Wingardium Leviosa while you did the movement, and if done right the feather in front of us would have to rise to wherever the point of our wand was. This didn't work like that for me, in the end I tried to do it differently after hundreds of failed attempts, I pointed my wand straight at the feather and thought, ordered it into rising… and it did. Apparently my magic had its way to convince the world to do what I wanted all by itself. Wicked!

Alas, today was potions, and the man in charge of the class was rather intimidating, I had seen this man before though, at our house when I was young, I suspected he was a friend of mum's, as he constantly looked at me as he interrogated everyone on the subject with questions that I couldn't tell were of our level or not.

Soon enough, instructions were on the board and we were to begin, a simple potion he said, cure for boils, and Susan rushed off rather quickly to deal with the gathering of ingredients, while I read the book in order to make sure of what we should do.

It wasn't long after, the potion was simmering in between phases of the brewing; Susan and I were talking once more, in hushed tones, about what it had been like as she grew up:

"You know, it was pretty lonely before Hogwarts, they don't send us to school before and the only one I had was my aunt, she's really busy though so…" she trailed off, and then continued; "I've always liked running through the garden, and I used to climb every tree I could find;" she giggled, "My auntie always said that I shouldn't run barefoot in the mud, that it wasn't proper of a lady, blah, blah,"

" - That's what my mum says too," I cut in briefly, and giggled at her slightly betrayed look, "Because I kept running off in parks where she couldn't see me, and shoes were definitely annoying!"

"Potter!" Snapped from the front of the class, the man who had introduced himself as Severus Snape, our Potions instructor, was staring directly at me, "If you wish to ruin your work with your banal chatter, you should turn off your cauldron and leave my class immediately." A glare, and I was quiet once more, then began adding the slugs as I should have, it was time anyway.

Susan then took the cauldron off the fire while I ground the porcupine quills into dust, and we added it together, then I glared at Snape while he was busy vanishing Longbottom's attempt at the potion while Susan did the necessary stirring, a wave of the wand and… the satisfying pink smoke that should come out of a properly made potion made itself present in our cauldron.

"Not terrible," said Snape as he passed us on the way back to the front, and soon the class came to an end.

* * *

Time passes by quicker than you'd expect, I think.

It was already the third week of October by the time I came to look at a calendar, the 18th to be precise, and the routine had settled quickly enough that I no longer grumbled about being up late for Astronomy, then up early for History, I quickly figured out that History was another name for napping, as all my classmates would attest, and thus it no longer presented such an issue so long as I could manage the self-study.

Hermione was great help in this, of course. The girl had insisted upon helping and correcting each one of my mistakes, eager at seeing me take the assignments somewhat seriously.

The castle was a great place to explore, already had I found numerous classrooms in unused wings of the castle that had all the signs of being used for clubs and meetings in previous times, there was a poster in one that boasted support of Grindewald, of all relevant people in the magical world, it had to be our very own Hitler. There was also a painting room, filled with unused and used canvas of very well made paintings, one of them even resembled one I had seen in a museum with mum! It was very impressive.

It was in one of these bouts of exploring that I found myself in the third floor, right hand corridor, after coming out of a passageway that I probably wasn't supposed to find, that had to be of course a secret passage. And of course, as these things are ought to go, I heard noises.

Three, very distinct barks sounded, and the shriek of a man followed them, and I hid behind the closest set of armour I could see. With the corner of my eye, I saw the professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts; Professor Quirrel, rush out of a door not far from where I hid with what looked like a massive hound on his heels… what?

Why would there be such a huge dog at Hogwarts? Is this what Dumbledore meant?

And so the door slammed closed with a flick of Quirrel's wand, and the man quickly retreated with all the due haste of a coward fleeing his death… fitting, because that dog sure looked hungry.

I waited a few moments after he left, to make sure the dog wouldn't smash through the door and eat me, and then left quickly. As soon as I was back on the staircase, I realized for the first time how much I was shaking like a leaf, and I really felt like crying. Being scared is definitely not fun.

And then it was the night of Halloween, or Samhain as Susan had corrected me. There was pumpkin _everywhere,_ and some of the students, older ones and those of noble birth she explained – as she was wearing them aswell – had bangles and decorations on their persons fitting on what you'd imagine of an old druid, they were rather pretty, and I felt a wild desire to have some of my own. Maybe I'd ask Susan for next year.

Hermione wasn't here, and I had heard that she had a spat with the Weasley boy hours before and had fled to the bathrooms, she had a preference for the ones on the third floor left hand, she said it was the quickest to get to from the inside of the castle as there was a secret passage right next to the Great Hall leading to it, so I knew she'd be back here soon.

Dumbledore stood, I think he was going to do what he had on the last feast, a little speech and some crazy words and then finally let us eat, but before he could speak there was a loud bang, and every head turned as one towards the gigantic doors of the Great Hall;

"TROLL IN THE CASTLE!" Was the bellow of professor Quirrel as he panted and looked close to fainting, "TROLL!"

Then he mumbled something, barely loud enough to be heard even in the absolute silence that engulfed the Great Hall after his entrance, Thought you should know, he said, and promptly fainted.

The reaction was immediate. The Great Hall was in uproar with scared, excited and worried students in equal measure, and a second, louder bang erupted from the head table. The Headmaster there stood, looking very focused indeed, and began ordering the students to stand and gather to be led back to their common rooms.

"Susan! Susan!" I whispered harshly, making sure to get her attention; "We have to go get Hermione, she doesn't know!"

"But Jen, what if we find the troll?" She asked, looking somewhat hesitant, but I knew she wouldn't let me go alone, and I wouldn't stay here while my friend was in danger.

"Then we run as fast as we can and take another way to get to her, there's plenty in the castle, we just have to hope we get there first."

And so we snuck from among the throng of students, with every single year of every house gathered together in lines, there was no way the teachers could notice us, and quickly we were right before the passage that would take us where we had to be.

The stench hit us first. We had learnt in Defence, that mountain trolls were very resistant to magic, and that they were gigantic creatures with very little brains, but very much stronger than a human, specially a human little girl.

Maybe I should have thought this better…

Too late now, we were almost there and the troll was close, so we had to rush it if we wanted to leave here alive.

We rounded the corner, and there was the bathroom, the troll was walking down the hallway, its back to us as it had passed the bathroom door already, and we dashed into the bathroom not noticing that the rumbling footsteps had stopped their advance.

"Hermione," Susan hissed, making her best effort to be loud while not outright shouting, we didn't want to call attention to us, bad enough that we were here as it was, "We need to go now, there's a troll in the hallway!"

The girl ducked out of the cubicle where she hid, she looked as if she was still very upset and I of course had the urge to hug her, as I did every single time I saw someone cry. But this was not the time, we had to leave before something bad happened –

Of course I should never even think that.

The wall was smashed, and the troll was stumbling inside the enclosed space we occupied, straight through the only exit.

What should I do!? What should I do!? The thing had a big wooden club, and it was already swinging it wildly to get rid of the rubble holding it tentatively in place, and it had seen us already, so we were going to have to fight it if we wanted to get out of this one. Susan had already started attacking it, flinging stinging hexes as fast as she could straight towards its face, "The eyes! Aim for the eyes!" she shrieked, and Hermione snapped out of it also.

More hexes began flying, and I had still to do anything. I was terrified, just what could I do? I could see the hexes were doing nothing but making it angry, and it looked as if it was going to charge us any moment now!

So I did the only thing that came to mind… I raised my wand and my hand and shouted "NO!"

It did something, there was a push, and I could see the troll stagger. I knew it was going to kill us, and so I wanted, I _needed_ it to stop. I couldn't let it hurt my friends, so I did it again, and again, "NO! NO! NO! YOU CAN'T! I WON'T LET YOU!"

And with every shout, there was another blast, stronger and stronger, and I could feel myself more energized, I felt stronger with every shout, and the troll looked as if it was getting a beating, the club lay forgotten in the floor, and each impact seemed to be breaking bones now. At last, the troll dropped to its knees, and with one last shout, wordless and filled with panic, the impact blew its head apart.

Did I… Did I just kill a freaking troll!?

And so I was on my knees, I couldn't believe what just happened, _Ikilledafreakingmountaintroll!_

And they were by my side instantly, Hermione stood in front of me, looking dumbstruck at the gory mess that was left, and Susan was hugging me looking like she would start crying any moment now, and now that the adrenaline was wearing off I felt myself getting tired and sleepy…

Maybe it was a good time for a nap.

* * *

 **Hello again, I'm free from work currently so my updates may speed up a bit, though I don't promise anything. Reviews appreciated.**


	5. Time doesn't wait for anyone

**I guess I'm back to this. Some of it was written last year, however the majority was written between this weekend and last, hopefully I'm going to be far more consistent this year on than last time.**

* * *

It seems hospitals smell the same everywhere. The last thing I remember is the blood, it was everywhere, and I knew i had caused it.

I didn't want to kill it, the thought never really occurred to me, but I was so... So _angry._ I just wanted it to stop, and I was so scared that I couldn't make it stop. And then it did, and it was over, and I started breathing so fast that I just blacked out. Panic attack, of course. It wasn't the first time, I had these before when accidental magic happened, and I guess this count as accidental magic.

There was no way that I could make that happen again, right?

It was dark, and the hospital wing was, it seemed, entirely empty. My wand was on the table, and I reached out to grasp it and gasped at the sight of my left hand, it was a bit swollen and red, and it hurt to move it somewhat. I guess this is what happens when you lose control...

A quick cast of Tempus with my other, non-swollen hand yielded four in the morning, and left alone with just my thoughts, they began circling back onto what had happened. I nearly got all of us killed, didn't I? I shouldn't have gone, but then Hermione would have died, and that would most definitely not be okay.

But to save her, I... I was a killer, now. And that realization was horrid, and terrifying. I had killed, and if I ever lose control, then I could do it again, this time it could be a human, or even one of my friends, no, that couldn't happen!

My breathing quickened, and I knew I was on the verge of another panic attack, I didn't want to be in here anymore, didn't want to be alone, I wanted to be back in my bed in the dorms, with the girls, where I could stop thinking about it, I could never hurt them!

But I couldn't just leave, no, I was sure the doors were locked, and that the resident healer would come to check on me in a few hours, since I was left overnight here. And that made me feel worse, I was _trapped_ until morning, and I didn't like that at all, no, _I didn't want to be here anymore._

My vision blackened, and I felt a surge of what could only be my magic. I felt myself squeezed through a tube, then I saw the light show as bands constricted around me, then it was darkness... and then I hit a bed. The drapes were startlingly familiar. Ruby red, golden threading, velvet sheets... Gryffindor dorm. Did I just... lose control again and teleport myself, which should be impossible, as, _I have no frakkin' idea of how to apparate!?_

I forced myself to calm down as much as I could, better not to think about it too much, and just tried my best to go back to sleep. Eventually it worked.

* * *

It was morning now, and everything was calm, no sign of the almost tragedy that happened yesterday remained, as far as I knew, even the bathroom bore no mark of the fight occurred inside of it, magic taking swift care to repair the damage caused, directed by the headmaster to his bidding.

I just directed mine to open my shutters.

My hand wasn't swollen anymore, and I proceeded to change clothes into my uniform with little fanfare, deciding a shower wasn't needed just yet; the wash last night had been enough.

I killed a damned troll, almost on my own.

I killed a troll.

Still can't get over it, really; How could I? I'm just a little girl, albeit, with what happened and the things I can manage to do without knowing how… Maybe I am something special.

I'd think about it later, breakfast and then Herbology awaited, and I want to see if people know what happened.

* * *

They didn't know what went on.

Of course, I should have figured they'd cover it up, Dumbledore would be seen as incompetent if it became wide spread that a little girl had to kill a troll in his school by herself, let alone let known that a little girl killed a troll.

Even if that little girl was His daughter, the daughter of the big, gracious Potter who slayed Voldemort.

How so that I'm only hearing about this at Hogwarts, rather than my mum telling me?

No matter, these sconces are far more important than any musings I could come up with, and herbology is sure to be fun.

Susan looked at me with obvious concern over my quietness, but I wanted to think, really, and talking isn't conducive to deep thought; daydreaming also, but that was inevitable, wasn't it?

Eventually we gathered our things and toddled off, the path known to us by now, and within ten minutes we were at the Herbology greenhouse awaiting instructions, however, something was different today; see, normally it's just the forest that speaks to me, and speaks is a broad term for what actually happens; I get a mental impression of what it wants to tell me when I ask, and that's about it.

This time, with these plants, and it hadn't happened in my previous classes, I got a distinct _word,_ they said _'Mother_ ', repeatedly, and obviously addressing me directly. How could I be their mother?

I heard snickers which snapped my attention back to the present company, the professor wasn't here yet, and all of us children were left alone for a few minutes, children of opposite houses, mischief is wont to occur then.

And occur it did.

"Hey, Potter!" Mocked Malfoy, and then a swift mass of dirt was flying straight at my face, produced from his hand; "Catch!"

This stupid, childish, ridiculous ape! I hope he dies!

There was a snapping sound, then another, and they kept on, my mind kept blaring anguished feelings, all saying the same thing, _'Mother!'_ , they seemed concerned, and they seemed angry. I didn't know how to reassure them.

I wiped the mud off my face and saw what was going on, the snaps had been vines from the dangerous plants Professor Sprout pointedly keeps away from us, that had somehow stretched themselves farther than they usually would, and they were suspending Malfoy in the air, one vine tightly coiled on his neck, and the plant felt angry, and spoke to me of doing what I wanted.

Realization hit me fast; I had hoped he would die.

How do I stop this? I wasn't sure how to stop it, I couldn't just straight up talk to the vines, and asking them mentally to stop wasn't working, so how?

I lifted my hand and imagined the vine being cut, the one holding his neck, and willed it to happen with all I had.

The vine snapped, cut exactly at the point my mind was focused on.

It retreated, emanating feelings of pain and betrayal, it meant that it had only been doing what I wanted, and I hurt it in exchange. _'Mother…'_

Why do they keep calling me mother?

"You! You did this!" He pointed his finger at me, standing up shakily and taking deep breaths, "You tried to kill me!"

"She didn't do anything! You've gone mad, Malfoy!" shouted Susan, next to me, always prompt to defending me against anything. It was so lovely of her.

"How else could that plant have gotten to me? I was nowhere close to it! Look, it's five meters away!"

"She can't do that! No one can control plants like that!"

"I'm sure it was her! Wait until father hears of this!"

"You will hide behind your father's skirt and accuse me of murder when I've done nothing?" I spoke for the first time, when in reality I had just saved his life, albeit… indirectly, I did put him in danger.

He didn't like my words, his face turned red and his wand came out faster than I would expect of him.

"You filth! Serpensortia!" He bellowed, and a viper shot right out of the air in front of his wand. I panicked, I hated snakes of all kinds, and this bloody thing was poisonous.

I did not want to die.

I waved my hand, wildly, wanting it to push away anything in front of me, just to keep the stupid snake away, and a wave of, I don't know what it was, but it was moving away from me like an unstoppable force, pushing aside anything in its way, decimating the snake and breaking the table separating us in half.

Then it hit Malfoy.

First it was a dry impact, but he didn't hit the floor after being slammed into by the wave, the wave took him with it, and splashed him again, this time hitting the walls of the greenhouse, there was a sickening crack, and the wave kept on while he remained against the solid iron cast structure that formed the wall, then dropped, ragdoll like, to the floor. He didn't move, and I didn't think he was breathing.

I think I just killed Malfoy.

Oh my god I killed Malfoy.

I'm a murderer, I killed Malfoy, and what do I do!?

My breathing quickened, the onset of another panic attack, and I could see myself surrounded by a glowing light, blue, and sharp, it glowed stronger than sunlight yet only around me, it obscured and overtook the light from the sun when I lifted my hand to look at it. The symbols in my wrists were shining brightly enough that it escaped the folds of my robes.

I rode a sleeve up, and sure it was shining electric blue, but stronger, just as my body was.

Then I felt a hug. All I saw was red.

And then Pomona Sprout was here.

"What has happened!" She panicked, running straight towards the prone form of Malfoy, who I was almost a hundred percent sure wasn't breathing anymore, and examined him.

She only confirmed my suspicions by slowing down her movements, if he was alive, she would be far speedier in her reaction, she would be calling someone, but no, she seemed… defeated. She rose slowly, and then asked again, "What happened?"

I couldn't speak, and the glow hadn't faded just yet. She looked straight at me, and Susan began an explanation of the events, hastily cobbled together but truthful nonetheless; "He… He threw a snake at her! He used a spell and then there was a viper, the poisonous ones, and she screamed then waved her hand like she was slapping it away, and some… weird wave happened that split it apart and hit Malfoy full on!"

And now he was dead.

Professor Sprout pulled out her wand.

"Miss Potter, you will have to come with me, now." She said, her voice downcast.

"We must speak with the headmaster to know what to do next, Mister Malfoy is no more; class dismissed, all of you except Miss Potter are to go to your dorms. Today; we mourn."

Students shuffled off, slowly vacating the premises, the last one off was Susan who kept her eyes on me as long as she could, she looked so worried it hurt me.

I really don't want to worry her.

* * *

"Accidental magic," He drawled, tightly contained fury was evident in his voice, "You are saying; that my boy, died, because of accidental magic!?"

His glare moved targets, it was previously on the headmaster, and was now focused on me. I felt threatened by this man, Lucius Malfoy I knew he was, the father of the boy I just killed.

The boy I killed.

"I didn't mean to kill him…" my voice was small, and it went almost unheard, my mother was shouting at him at the top of her lungs now, and it only made me feel even worse.

"My daughter is no killer!" she said, "She didn't do this on purpose!"

And it was true, I hadn't, all I wanted was that stupid snake to be torn apart. After that, it was out of my control…

"On purpose or not my son is dead! I demand she be given the kiss!"

"We cannot give the kiss to an eleven year old girl, Lucius! Listen to yourself!" boomed the headmaster, who seemed much older than every time I had set my eyes on him before. It seemed the proceedings had hit him hard, and it showed, his posture was slouched, tired, and his eyes weren't as bright.

"Blood must have blood, Dumbledore. The girl will pay; one way or another." He snarled, and turned to leave, his gaze lingered on me, filled with threat, and it frightened me.

Why was all of this happening to me?

Dumbledore sighed, and took a few deep breaths to steady himself, then spoke; "I know it was an accident, Miss Potter."

I nodded, not trusting my voice just yet.

"You won't be set on trial for this, as there is simply no way you could have done this on purpose. It must have been accidental magic, for not even I can conjure kinetic force with my bare hand let alone with that much strength. The power within you is beyond impressive, Miss Potter; you must learn to control yourself and keep it in leash."

My mother hugged me close to her side, and I felt safe, even if the anxiety didn't go away.

"This cannot happen again, Miss Potter, volatile accidental magic is dangerous, and you will still be punished for this."

I feared what came next.

"You are to be expelled, Miss Potter."

I gasped, and tears came to my eyes.

My mother protested loudly, but I knew it would be no use. Words filtered in and out of my ears, not really registering, but soon it was over.

The headmaster said that I was to leave now, with Lily, and say my goodbyes.

I couldn't stop myself from crying right then and there.

Saying goodbye wasn't a long affair, we took more time tracking down both Hermione and Susan than actually talking with them.

No words were exchanged, only actions showed what was going on; at last I told them it was goodbye, and they both crushed me in hugs. We had little time, but our bond had grown strong.

I couldn't be with them anymore.

* * *

The years had been kind.

My mother had to take my wand away, but I never needed it anyway.

My control had gotten to the fine point of me being able to levitate multiple objects at once, in multiple trajectories, including opposite directions. I could manifest things into being, I could teleport myself at will so long as I had been there before. I knew what had happened in that forest, now.

The marks, I knew what they were. I had learned, just yesterday, exactly what they were.

It had been a visit to a park that revealed it, an old forest, near Nottingham, the greeting was as usual, the forest met me as Mother, as they all did now since that day, and I decided to ask about them.

They were the mark of Cernunnos.

The mark of the avatar; the current god of harvest, the forest, and magic.

I was a goddess.

I still can't believe it.

My power has just grown, and I haven't lost control all this time, however, I fear the next time I do the consequences will be much larger than before.

How much power does a goddess have? I didn't know, and I didn't want to find out.

The forest told me I would live for thousands of years, that I could not die unless of old age, and that magic would obey my every command. This would be anyone's dream, but it was my nightmare.

Temper tantrums had to be avoided at all costs, and being a hormonal teenager…

I already had a close call, in an argument with my mother last week, I had pinned her to the wall with my will before I knew what I was doing.

She had found out then that I wasn't normal.

* * *

It was summer, now. School had let out, muggle school was rather simplistic compared to my little time at Hogwarts. It all lasted only a few months, but it had been nice. It had been one of the best times of my life, really.

It had been five years, but I looked back at it very fondly. I had the periodical visits from Susan, though Hermione had eventually stopped coming after two years. I still sent her letters sometimes, but our friendship wasn't what it was before. I guess being alone at Hogwarts made her feel abandoned; she hadn't got on with Susan as well as with me, and Susan says they rarely spoke.

We've all grown up, my sixteenth birthday was right around the corner, and Susan had said she would be here today; knight bus was rather fast transportation, even if I could be much faster if I wanted to.

But I knew I couldn't do anything, I wasn't supposed to have any sort of magic now, I was supposed to be entirely useless without a wand, turned into little more than a squib. They were so very, very wrong.

I displayed my marks proudly; now, I pretended to mum that they were tattoos, and that I was going through a rebellious phase.

She had a fit and a half over it, but eventually let it pass. There was nothing she could do about them without my willing consent, either way. Magic that involved the body worked that way.

There was one thing that worried me, last winter, I couldn't do much. I was bed ridden, not sickly, but tired. I felt rather exhausted, especially prior to the major holidays. I felt as if I must rest, and rest only, I slept for sixteen hours straight on the 23rd, and only awoke due to mum shaking me out of it.

I still felt tired then.

I was a bit worried that it would happen again, this winter, and every winter through the rest of my life. Would I become a slob when snow was out?

The antlered one, mother, must go to rest, the forests said.

The antlered one.

I woke up with a pair of rather gigantic and distressing antlers sprouting out of my hair one time. Thankfully, the freak out made them go away and they hadn't reappeared just yet.

I hoped they didn't.

* * *

Susan was here, and her presence was as warm as it had always been, her demeanour pleasant and inviting to me as had been since the first time.

And now she was taller than me, and broader than me. Her hips were on the large size, her butt was much perkier than mine, and her chest was, as she proudly boasted to me at one point, much larger.

I wasn't jealous of that last one, though. Sacks of fat must be so heavy, pity the poor girl.

She hugged me rather tight, as usual; she was the one initiating physical contact. I was rather accustomed to it by now, and welcomed it even, however much it reminded me of thoughts that should not be had.

I had started thinking of her in ways that you aren't supposed to think of your friends, last summer. It was a rather hot day, and she had decided on precious little clothing to adapt to it.

I swear just the sight of her made me feel ten degrees hotter, that day.

"Jen!" she chirped; "I missed you. How have you been?"

"Rather fine, really; this year felt rather fast, how about you?"

She loosened her hold on me and stood slightly apart, but didn't let go the arms that were around my neck, poised on my shoulders.

"I've been good! I had really good scores on my owls, so auntie decided I could spend the entire summer with you!"

Huh? That sounded rather amazing.

"Of course, um… your mum has to agree first."

Ah, that was the catch. Alas, it wouldn't really be difficult to get her to.

"That's fine, I'm sure she'll like the idea; let's go find her, she should be in the kitchen."

She took my hand and dragged me. Was this normal? I didn't exactly have other friends. She was all I had at this point.

It wasn't easy to connect with the kids at my school, they were so… normal. It didn't feel like I belonged. And so I didn't make any friends there, barely acquaintances, who would never hold my hand like this. I had no idea if it was just a simple gesture of friendship, her hurrying me along, or something more.

Did it matter?

Then we were at the kitchen, and there was my mother, her red hair pulled down into a braid in contrast to my raven one high in a ponytail, her clothing very conservative whereas mine was just a sports bra and leggings; I wasn't exactly feeling like dressing up when I woke up three hours ago. It was barely ten in the morning, so there was no reason to go outside, why get dressed?

…Maybe Susan was looking at my breasts when she came in and didn't meet my eyes?

Bad Jen, get your head out of the gutter, they're talking.

"…That would be nice, yes; I'd love to have you here." Mum smiled, and nodded towards me, "This one has been so quiet since her last birthday, that it almost feels like I'm alone in here when she isn't latching to me with all her might."

Embarrassing.

"Mum! You're not supposed to tell her that!" I admonished in mock outrage, although I was slightly embarrassed, this was Susan. She could know.

"I'm not supposed to tell her that you hug me like a lifeline every time you can?" she snickered slightly, and I decided payback was in order, so I did just that.

I walked over to her and pulled her into a hug, as tight as I could, which was actually plenty, without magic. She let out a little oof and patted me, "Jen, Jen! I'm cooking, let go, or the eggs will be ruined," I snickered and let her go, and she turned back towards the stove.

Susan was looking at us with a broad smile.

* * *

We were in my room now, and she was telling me all about her latest transfiguration class, where they had learned basic conjuration. She said she had made a teacup pop out of the air, and that she could conjure anything she wanted that was porcelain now.

Impressive.

Then she looked at me once more, closely, and for the first time noticed the marks. I was wondering when it would happen, would I tell her the cover story I made for mum, or the truth?

She certainly deserved to know, but should she? How exactly do you tell someone that you're some overpowered goddess of magic and nature? That trees talk to you and tell you things no one can know because it's been centuries and they weren't written down?

How mad would she think I was? Maybe I shouldn't tell her.

"What are these?" she took my arm and traced the mark with her finger, my breath slightly hitched, but I don't think she heard it, "is this ink, Jen?"

"Yes," my voice wavered a little, she was rather close and was still tracing her finger on my forearm, all over the mark that was, admittedly, rather sensitive. "They're the brand of Cernunnos, I had them tattooed on me two months ago."

"The antlered celtic god?" She asked, quite a hint of curiousity on her voice; "Why? Are you a follower?"

Err… "You could say that, yes. I rather liked how they looked, and then the idea of a god of hunts, forests and apparently magic, appealed to me a lot."

It was technically not a lie, it does appeal to me and I really did like how they looked.

"Oh, that's amazing! Did you know my family has followed him for centuries?" She seemed rather eager. Maybe she was really faithful?

"No, I'm only just finding out. Should I have known?"

"Not really. We kept quiet about it, but I really do have to ask you something."

That was ominous. Did she know somehow?

"Yes, Susie?"

"Do you like girls?"

Wow. That certainly wasn't what I was expecting.

"… Why do you ask?" I was rather off balance.

"Oh, please just answer." She pressed on.

"But, why?" I looked at her, really looked at her, and she seemed verbally on her toes for my answer, "is there something I should know?"

"Yes!" she answered eagerly, and then frowned and pointedly kept herself quiet, then spoke more controlled; "But you can only know if you answer me first."

Damn it.

"Well… I don't know, I've never really thought about it much."

And I hadn't, though I was certain I did like girls. I wouldn't have those dirty thoughts about her before if I didn't.

Unless it was just her, but alas.

"How come you hadn't? It's something very important!"

"Well, it hadn't come up until now… why would I think about it otherwise?"

"That's fair, I guess… but really, I need you to think about it now, and quickly please, I'm not sure I can wait any longer."

I took a minute to think on it, though I already knew my answer.

The curiousity also itched me forwards to answer faster, I really wanted to know what she had to say.

"Well… I guess I do, Susan."

Her reaction was immediate, and she brightened with a thousand watts smile, "That's amazing! So do I!"

… Was she telling me she was gay? It seems that way.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes, really!" she chirped, and she snickered, she seemed overflowed with mirth and happiness. "There's something else I have to tell you though, and I'm gonna burst if you don't know." She leaned towards me, and scooted forwards, I really didn't know what she was doing but she stopped when our knees were touching.

"What is it, Susan?"

"I think I have a crush on you."

* * *

 **Please contact me about any mistakes or inconsistencies you spot, it's been a while, and it's also unbeta'd.**


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